Mystery Science Theater bad. It's so bad that, until I volunteered to take the bullet of recapping it here, I had never been able to bring myself to watch it sober, and, now that I have, I can assure you confidently that, if anything, intoxication led me to underestimate how very bad this movie is. It's the kind of movie that's so terrible that you find yourself genuinely curious as to which drugs the people responsible for this film were taking, and where you might be able to procure some.
It's so bad it comes through the other end and resolves into a sort of shell-shocked hilarity. Now, normally, I'd never advocate revisiting a years-old prequel before a new movie, but this really can't do anything but make The Wolverine look good by comparison, so grab yourself a beer and a bad cigar, and let's dive in!
The movie opens in the wild Canadas, where sickly kid James and his buddy Victor Creed witness Victor's father murder the man James assumed to be his own dad.
Then, he fillets Victor's dad, who it turns out is also James's dad. Mom rejects James, because that's what the progression of the plot requires, and little James flees into the night, probably to a life of drugs and late-night VH1 retrospectives. Someday, he'll be sitting in a support group of former child actors, and he'll mention that he was in this movie, and everyone will scoot away a few inches.
Poor kid never had a chance. Nah, Victor tackles him, and they promise to be BFF murderbuddies forever and always.
Meanwhile, a mob has assembled in record time and is now searching the woods in response to what the 19 th Century forensic investigators of the Canadian frontier have immediately identified as the work of a small child with retractable claws.
When you have a healing factor, you can get away with goofy stuff like that. Also, the World War II sequence shows neither hide nor hair of either Captain America or the Howling Commandos, which is a good sign that this Wolverine movie is bullshit. Everyone knows that the main point of Wolverine flashbacks is to work in as many other Marvel cameos as possible.
But no, all we get is Victor being disproportionately bloodthirsty and James halfheartedly holding him back. Finally, their wacky hijinks land them in front of a firing squad and then in prison, because, again, healing factors.
There, they meet Col. Stryker, who will later be the villain of X-2 , but for now is basically Evil Charles Xavier, assembling a crack team of mutants to enforce Canadian supremacy, or something. The bros can either join him or rot in prison forever. Because the movie's only ten minutes in, they join up, and we next see them on a plane with what comics fans will recognize as various members of Weapon X, who include a Green Lantern, a founding member of the Black Eyed Peas, and a Hobbit.
Victor and a guy named Wade—that's Deadpool to those of you who care, which I promise you'll have stopped doing by the end of this movie—have a bit of a pissing contest, and everyone goes out to commit some mild atrocities, and, in the case of Daniel Henney, to be outrageously pretty in slow motion. Henney, as Agent Zero, flips around and shoots some guys, Fred Dukes punches a tank to death, and then there's a slapstick moment of the whole team riding up an elevator, which gives Wade a chance to mouth off and Meriadoc Brandybuck Chris Bradley to show off his electricity powers.
And then Wade deflects machine gun fire with two swords, because it's that kind of movie; John Wraith teleports around, and Stryker gets really excited about a fancy rock, so they all go off to massacre a village. Jimmy isn't into the pointless slaughter, so he breaks up the fellowship and goes off by himself to take the ring to Gondor strut around the Rockies topless like some kind of mutant Canadian James Dalton.
Six years have passed, and now our boy James is going by Logan, working as a logger, and shacking up with Generically Hollywood First Nations hottie Kayla Silverfox.
Meanwhile, at a circus in Illinois, Bradley is enjoying quiet retirement with a trailer full of light bulbs when Victor comes calling for some murder. At the same time, James wakes up from a nightmare, yelling, claws out, for an up-close-and-personal demonstration of how much lower the CGI budget was on this than on any of the X-Men films.
He's having nightmares about the wars—"all of them"—which prove prophetic when Stryker and Zero show up for a sass-off. Stryker tells Logan that someone's hunting down the old team. Logan is indifferent. Later, at home, Kayla decides to share a myth from her generic First Nations tribe.
My primary consultant, Google, tells me that, based on the names that come up in the story she tells, it's probably supposed to be an Innu legend. However, the makers of Wolverine lack my close personal relationship with search engines, so they never get further than "my people," which is shorthand for "someone didn't want to do any research.
This is my favorite part of the movie, because in addition to underlining the fact that no one involved in this film did any due diligence by way of researching First Nations, it makes it really obvious that no one involved in the making of a movie called Wolverine has any idea what a wolverine actually is. So, Kayla tells Logan this flowery myth about how the moon and Kuekuatsheu—Wolverine—were lovers, and the Trickster lured Wolverine out of the spirit world, which trapped him on earth, and that's why wolverines howl at the moon.
First of all, in Innu myths, the moon, or the closest thing to a personification of the moon, is male. He's generally pretty silly, and kind of a dick, and never, ever a romantic hero. So, team Wolverine appropriated the hell out of a mythic figure to drop into a convenient hole in their plot—but that's not the most amazing part of this whole glorious train wreck.
Because it's pretty clear, from the myth and the number of times the movie is now going to hark back to it, that everyone involved in the making of this movie genuinely believes that wolverines are wolves. Do you know what wolverines are? Hint: They aren't wolves.
They aren't even canids: they're the largest member of the weasel family. They are scrappy little bastards, they smell terrible , and they look like very large, stocky ferrets. They do not howl, at the moon or otherwise. You now know more about wolverines than anyone involved in the making of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. It's obvious by now that Kayla Silverfox is super doomed , so when she's driving alone and comes along a lone Victor looming in the road, there's not a lot of question as to what's going to happen.
Meanwhile, Logan comes across the severed head of a wolverine—an actual wolverine, mind you; at least the prop guys seem to have done their homework—which has been left, presumably for his benefit, outside the lumberyard.
We expect that the same serum or whatever he's taking might be the same drug Beast is taking to return to his human form - another continuity-cracking plot point. Why make Beast blue and Xavier paralyzed, if they're going to write around it in the sequel? The same can be said for older Wolverine having his adamantium claws returning in the future.
The other question of continuity has to do with the older Professor X in the future who is miraculously alive despite being vaporized by Phoenix in X-Men: The Last Stand.
That, according to Stewart, will be explained in the film. Clearly this all has to do with time-travel and alternate timelines, and how it's used may answer all of our questions. It's the plot device that drives the story of Days of Future Past and the one we hope makes sense of the franchise timeline s we've seen so far. Source: SFX. Sign up to join this community. The best answers are voted up and rise to the top.
Stack Overflow for Teams — Collaborate and share knowledge with a private group. Create a free Team What is Teams? Learn more. How can Professor X walk and use his powers?
Ask Question. Asked 5 years, 5 months ago. Active 3 years, 9 months ago. Viewed 16k times. X was only able to walk if he injected the serum that Beast created: Days of Future Past This serum blocks his mind powers, but we can see there are at least 2 occasions where he can both walk and use his powers: X-men 3 First time Prof. X meets Jean Wolverine Prof.
X rescues mutants from Stryker's lab Was there a new serum developed that I am not aware of or is there another explanation? Improve this question. Armfoot Armfoot 1 1 gold badge 2 2 silver badges 8 8 bronze badges. Unfortunately, the answer is that continuity in the X-Men series is entirely botched and especially X-Men Origins: Wolverine is known for these issues. And with recent developments both Origins and X-Men 3 have basically been declared non-existant by the filmmakers.
Some related questions : Why is the Professor still in a wheel chair? LailaTreadwell He used telepathy to communicate with Jean after getting in the house in X-men 3. I don't remember him moving anything with his mind at that time. Add a comment. Active Oldest Votes. Ignoring that these are plot holes born from decades of films, there is two possible explanations.
Xavier, the most powerful telepath in the world, has been shown to in comics and cartoons : Make people see things. He is simply projecting his image into people's minds, like he does his voice at various points.
Use Astral projection, projecting his mind or soul or both into the Astral and Physical worlds. Either way, he would be back in the mansion, in Cerebro, still in a wheelchair.
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